Being Me

Standing Tall

Something changed today .... I realised that I can only be the person that I am. I know this is an obvious statement but from today I accept who I am .... the best and the worst. I am no longer going to try to be someone who others want me to be.

I've always berrated myself for being too emotional, too sensitive, for speaking, thinking and feeling from my heart but it is the only way I know how to be.

It doesn't make me weak, it doesn't make me vulnerable, its not a bad thing, in fact it has given me an inner strength that has helped to guide me through the challenges in life; using my intuition makes me more confident about making decisions and it gives me clear bounderies and clarity of mind.

So this is me and this is how I will be from this moment today until all moments in all tomorrows.

                            Spirit                             

Challenges

Renewal

Olive Branch

Actions or Procrastinations ..... and Bridges

How is it that I can spend so much time seemingly doing something and yet really not quite knowing if I am actually doing something! Or am I doing nothing? 

I've sat at this computer for hours today and all the while I have been doing something .... mainly uploading images to websites and filling in the details to accompany them. But this does take up so much of my time that I wonder is it really productive. Am I wasting my time or am I actually doing something worth doing? I dont know!!

My reason for uploading my images to websites is that I hope (maybe blindly) that one day one of my images will be good enough to draw the attention to someone who will drag me into the cache of well respected and great photographers! Am I being idealistic....maybe I am. But my reasoning is that if my work is not 'out there' then no one will discover me! And so I keep trying! It only takes one image at the right time to capture the imagination of one person who is in the right place. Doesn't it?

I only spent an hour or so on the computer yesterday, I went to the Gym in the morning and then for a long walk in the afternoon in search of a subject to photograph. I found what I was looking for. I would put that idea on here but part of me doesn't want to risk having my idea stolen!! How silly is that! I want to make a new book and so I shall keep my idea to myself!

Here are one or two images that I shot while I was out yesterday.

Tamar Bridge(by Road) and Brunel Bridge (by Train)

 Interface between Devon and Cornwall

Rainy Sunday .....

Rainy Sunday indeed ......rainy every day ....is it any surprise that the British constantly talk about the weather ...we just cant help ourselves; we want proper seasonal weather. Rain in April ...yes .....Rain in August ... no thanks.

I didn't go out today. College sent us a letter with an Assignment to complete by the beginning of term, so as its raining again today I thought I might as well get started on it. The artist I've been given is Sir Anthony Van Dyck.

I didnt know anything about him until today, but now I have a little basic knowledge of his life and work. I wouldn't have chosen him to reasearch, but I guess that's the point really .... to familiarise us with Artists we wouldnt otherwise look at. He was, if you dont already know, an influential 17th Century Portrait Artist, commissioned by James 1 to  paint portraits of the Royal Court and Aristocracy. He was born in Antwerp into a wealthy merchant family, apprenticed to Rubens, influenced by Bellini and Founder of the English School of Painting. That's a little of what I've found out today. My next step is to look at the historical context of his work, see if I can find any interesting snippets about his life and study some of his paintings. 

I must admit I would have prefered to research someone a little more exciting .... !

Taking a break from my studies I shot some photos of my work room and the garden during the dry interlude this afternoon. Oh what a intoxicating, invigorating, electrifying day I've had ...... !

Yes, I know I have washing out on the line ....ever the optimist!

Oh and just so you know ..... its still raining!

Saturday Afternoon...The Barbican Shrouded in Mist

Does the day reflect my mood

Or is my mood reflected in the day

If all things are as one,

Then wouldn't it make sense that

I am the day

And the day is me

Life Today

Life today......

This morning I had a date to meet a guy for coffee in town. It was my fifth date. It panned out like all the others. A nice guy, a pleasant hour of company and conversation, but with the same missing ingredient, that elusive 'spark.' I'm getting used to it now. I told myself today to have no expectations, no youthful dreams of a knight in shinning armour, no preconceptions of any kind. It worked in as much as I wasn't disappointed when we met that there was nothing. Its just the way life is sometimes. It was a positive meeting because I knew, and he knew, that we would not see each other again! No tears, no misunderstandings, no feelings hurt on either side. Just acceptance. So that was that.

Home then to catch up  with my friends on line. My daughter wanted me to drop her at her friend's house, they are going to the movies and then bowling, so that's what I did.

After dropping her off, I went to the gym to get my 'fix' of endorphins.

Then home again. I wrote a poem on Interpals, not a good poem, I dont really have any talent for poetry writing but I wrote it anyway. The emotion of my poem was of annoyance. I deleted my smiling photos as I am growing more annoyed with messages of 'you have a lovely smile'....bullshit! Its not that I dont think I have a lovely smile, I do :D hehe!!! But it can become tiresome when there is so much more inside than what the smile tells on the outside. But no matter.....I've got it out of my system now and maybe, just maybe those messages will stop.

The evening is young but tonight I am alone so I will probably now have a nice hot shower, watch a little tv, chat to a friend on line.....that's it really....then bed! Not exciting but not life threatening either, so I thank my wise old friend in the higher realms who cares for me in my warm and safe haven and count my blessings....there are many in the world who do not have what I have.

Peace Garden on The Hoe, Plymouth

"May Peace Prevail on All the Earth"

Flavour Fest

There's a "Flavour Fest" in town! Lots of lovely food and a Kitchen Theatre. Grabbed myself a Crepe and Italian Coffee......very nice it was too :)

THe First Step....To a Pure Heart

This year I have gained weight....normally I put a few pounds on over the Winter months but once Spring arrives it drops off naturally because I don't need the 'comfort' food anymore to keep warm!......well thats my excuse!  But being at college as opposed to at work this past year, I've been sitting down more and not making the effort to excersise so..today was the first spep to returning to my normal weight and being able to fit into my clothes again! I cant afford to buy new clothes and I feel uncomfortable carrying around this extra weight so action was required!!

I'm not a fan of the gym but I've been thinking about it for a while and today I gritted my teeth and walked in!  To my surprise I actually enjoyed it so I'll be going again.

Later on today I walked to the corner shop to buy some milk, there were two women in the que before me, one of them glanced at me wearing leggins (!) and pointed to a poster they had just put up in the shop. They're starting a Dance Class in September and have a 'Taster Session' next Thursday which they invited me along too!

So I guess today, the Cosmos was encouraging me to 'strutt my stuff!!' The Dance Class is on an evening and at a time I can attend.  I had looked for a Dance Class last year but could'nt find one to fit in with my life.

I'm looking forward to getting those endorphins dancing around my body! So maybe I will have some fun while I'm studying hard for my Degree....Thank You xxx : D

KARATE KID.... JACKIE CHAN....JADEN SMITH

These Images are from Jackie Chan's FaceBook page

Premiere Night in Tokyo

I loved this movie....the legend that is Jackie Chan never lets you down and the beautiful young actor, Jayden Smith a delight to watch on the big screen.

Its a classic goodies/baddies tale and I really loathed the baddy...so ugly and so nasty....I really wanted to "BOO" him off the screen! I get very involved when I'm watching a movie so I felt every blow and winced when my hero got hurt!!

Anyway....I'd better not say any more.....some are of the opinion that you can never remake an old classic...they say its just not the same....but I remember the origianl Karate Kid and this new movie takes nothing away from the original. It has its own modern take on the story and I for one thought it was brilliant.

I saw it with my children and we were all enthralled by it.....captured by the beauty of it.....involved with the emotion of it and enjoying every minute.

Newquay

Making the most of a disappointing day.....

Wembury

Low Tide at Wembury